Rumors

Posted on 17 Mar 2016 @ 4:51am by Captain Harvey Geisler & Commander Jayla Kij & Lieutenant Commander Camila Di Pasquale

830 words; about a 4 minute read

Mission: Outbreak
Location: Talons

Ensign Dorothy Stevens- or Dot as she was known by her friends- sat primly across the table from Ensign Yitzhak Wacowitz in the lounge on the Black Hawk. She daintily stirred her tea and glanced around- daintily, of course. Everything about Dot was dainty, from her lavender hair all the way down to her Starfleet standard issue boots, size 5. Even her height was dainty: 4'11".

"Where IS Yakov?" she wondered, sipping her tea; even her lightly accented voice was dainty. "He was supposed to be here ten minutes ago!"

"Helllllo, nurse!" Yakov yelled as he came around the corner into the lounge. "You guys are going to love the latest and greatest, and I don't just mean me." He declared as he headed to the table, pulled a chair out and sat on it backwards.

Dot's delicate eyelids closed and her lips pursed in frustration. "I know I am a nurse, but must you greet me like that every time?" she asked Yakov.

"You are more than nurse, Dot," Yakov said. "You are special nurse who gets special hello. Would you like it if I said hey Dorothy better? It doesn't have same ring."

"Hellllllo, Dorothy!" chuckled Yitzhak "Waco" Wacowitz. "You're right. Doesn't really roll off the tongue there." Picking up his coffee, he smiled at Yakov and asked, "What is the latest and greatest? Can I eat it?"

Yakov leaned in and gestured for them to come closer. "I was having a drink earlier and overheard the Chief of Security and Chief Medical Officer talking. You aren't going to believe what I heard!"

Dot frowned and sighed. "Just tell us already!" she said irritably. "Or did you want us to guess?"

"Surely it's about happy pills for the crew?" Waco inquired, thinking of all of the downturned faces he'd seen lately. "Or maybe they're finally going to start that comedy club we put in the suggestion box a while back."

"The CMO told the Security Chief that she is dating Paul Harvey!" Yakov said after the build up.

Waco snorted so hard, coffee nearly came out of his nose. "Ain't he dead? And besides, how boring is that?" He cleared his throat and in his best deep voice, he said, "I'm Paul Harvey, and that's... Page 6... the rest of the story."

Dot giggled. "Are you sure she said Paul Harvey?" she asked. "I don't think there is a Paul Harvey on this ship. Well, I don't know quiet everyone, but that's a rather famous name and I'm pretty sure I'd have heard of it by now."

"I am sure she said something about Kiptain, too," Yakov said. "Maybe Captain Harvey? Does that sound familiar to anyone?"

"Captain... Harvey?" Waco asked aloud? "It does sound familiar. Arvey... Barvey... Carvey..." He continued down the list for a while. "Iarvey... Jarvey... Karvey..."

"Wait!" said Dot suddenly, throwing out her hands to the two men. "Captain Harvey Geisler? No! It can't be! Are you sure about that?"

"Da!" Yakov said excitedly. "That is it! She was calling him Paul, then said Harvey. Security Chief dragged it out of her and she admitted it. She and the Kiptain are making two backed beast."

"The Ice Captain?" Waco asked. "I don't believe it!"

"You know, I saw him yesterday and he did seem very... well, warmer," Dot said. "And happy. He- he smiled!" She turned to Yakov. "When was this supposed to have happened?" she asked.

"I heard them talking about it earlier," Yakov said. "And something about angry sex with racquet balls or something. They must be into some really weird and kinky sex."

"It's always the strong and silent types," Waco commented. "Lamb by day, lion by night."

"Ooo, lucky girl," said Dot. "Wish I could find one of those."

"You want to have angry sex with racquet balls?" Yakov asked incredulously. "You wait here. I'll be right back!"

"Maybe she meant that his... you know, his... stuff... is as big as racquetballs," pointed out Dot.

"If I had stuff like that, I wouldn't wear pants," Yakov said. "I would want everyone to see them!"

"No one wants to see that!" Waco exclaimed. "Only Donald Duck and that frog puppet get away with walking around without pants."

"The CMO would want it or she wouldn't be having angry sex with his racquet balls," Yakov said with a laugh.

"Oh, my word!" exclaimed Dot, though she giggled. "You two are the worst!"

Yakov laughed, a deep braying sound like a Terran donkey. "You crack me up! But I have to go now. I heard the cadets are placing bets and I need to see who the favorite is for the shore leave shenanigans! Toodles!" Getting up, he headed off.

"Well, that was certainly enlightening," said Dot, stirring her tea again. "I wonder what gossip he'll have for us tomorrow."

Waco shrugged. "Tomorrow's a new day, Dot."

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