Uncomfortable Situations

Posted on 21 Oct 2016 @ 7:08am by Lieutenant Avery Stuart Ph.D. & Lieutenant Commander Joey Geisler

1,615 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Click Three Times
Location: Security, USS Black Hawk

After leaving Camila's office, Joey moved away from the closed door and took a few deep calming breaths. The last thing she wanted to do was find herself in a meeting with the counselor, but Doctor Stewart was only doing her job. At least, she'd gotten away with not having to talk to her one on one, and that was something she was pretty pleased about. Of course, that wasn't personal by any means. She didn't know Avery, but the thought of talking to someone just didn't... feel right.

There were a few people who knew about everything that happened, and while Joey didn't really open about it or how it made her feel, she got it out there. Now that she thought about, she wasn't exactly sure how she felt aside from the fear she had of Jackson somehow getting free and attempting to finish what he started the day before. Still, the logical part of her mind knew that wasn't going to happen, but that didn't really do anything to alleviate anything.

Joey pushed the thoughts from her mind. She couldn't focus on... him. There were more important things going on that required her attention. Clenching her fists at her side, she took another deep breath and let it out slowly before she began to move toward her own office.

"Excuse me, Lieutenant?" Avery called out, catching up to Corwin. "I was wondering if I could have a quick word with you in private."

Joey blinked when she heard Avery's voice, but it wasn't all that surprising. She quickly composed herself and gestured to her office before making her way inside. "What can I do for you, Doctor?"

Stuart followed Joey into the office and when the doors had closed and she was sure they could speak in private, she offered, "Out of respect for your privacy, I didn't want to bring it up in front of Lieutenant Di Pasquale, but I read the report of your attack," she added gently. "I'm not here to interrogate you on the details. I just wanted to see how you were."

Joey settled down behind her desk and gestured for Avery to take a seat in one of the chairs opposite of her. She studied the woman for a brief moment, wondering who else had seen the report. As it was, she'd only told two people, and the third person that knew about it just so happened to be there for a good bit of the ordeal. "I'm okay," she said. It wasn't a lie. She was okay. Not great, but okay. "I'm working my way through it well enough. It bothers me that Jackson is still on the ship, but I know that's not going to last forever. His fate is already sealed once he's court martialed. Part of me is terrified he'll find a way to get out and come after me again, but I know logically that's not a possibility. The man is under armed guard, and he's being kept sedated. Knowing that helps."

"It's good you're using logic to help manage your anxiety," Avery replied. "Still, I wouldn't blame you if your body and your heart are still trying to catch up to your head. When you have those worrisome thoughts, are you able to do anything to relax your body?"

Joey nodded her head. "I do. When I need to relax or let off some steam, I normally go to the gym. Lately, though, I've been spending time with Captain Geisler. His presence helps me quite a bit," she replied.

"I see," Avery replied evenly, sussing out why that might be. There was an obvious reason and the reason that was less so. "My understanding is he intervened when you were attacked and helped get you to safety. I can see why being in his presence would be reassuring."

"He did intervene, but we worked together to get ourselves out of the situation we were in," the Security officer stated. "That isn't why his presence is so reassuring, though. It goes beyond that, and since you're bound by doctor/patient confidentiality, I'll tell you why that is. He and I are seeing one another."

The admission wasn't expected, but upon reflection, it wasn't terribly surprising either. Avery knew Harvey was exploring whether he was emotionally ready for a romantic relationship and she knew based on their prior conversations, he had once dated Doctor Kij. "Thank you for trusting me with such information. I know you didn't have to tell me, but it will help me make sense of your needs and his needs going forward." Avery had other questions, such as when their relationship had started, but she didn't want to push.

"Back to the attack," Joey began, not wanting to delve any deeper into her personal life any longer. "I was basically used as bait. The Captain of the Cochrane had it out for the Captain and wanted to kill him. That didn't work out for him, nor did it work out for Jackson. One is in the brig, and the other is dead. Neither one of them will be hurting anyone else again. We can all take comfort in knowing there are two less Consortium scum to deal with."

Avery nodded her agreement. "Besides struggling to keep in mind you are safe now, are you having any other struggles? Perhaps sleeping issues and trouble feeling comfortable when you're alone?" If Stuart recalled correctly from her file, Joey had experienced trauma before in her life. Even if she hadn't, it wasn't surprising she would resist engaging with her emotions surrounding the trauma, as it appeared she was doing now. Focusing on the fact Jackson was in the brig was a way to concentrate intellectually on what happened instead of fully connecting emotionally with what happened.

The Security officer looked thoughtful at the Counselor's question. She'd had issues sleeping throughout her entire Starfleet career, but she was fairly certain she wasn't the only one with those. "I had some trouble last night, but all things considered, I don't think that's too unheard of. If you're asking if I have issues on a regular basis, then the answer would be no. As far as being alone, I don't really have any trouble with that. I've spent the last three and a half years that way up until recently," Joey replied.

"Trouble sleeping last night is certainly understandable. How did you cope with that?" Avery got the sense Joey was trying to deflect her inquiry without seeming to do so or without seeming impolite. Stuart understood where Corwin was coming from, but at the same time, the counselor wouldn't be doing her job if she avoided discussing how Joey was coping after such a traumatic incident. It was Avery's help, of course, that Joey was able to find a way to cope using her own skills and strengths as an individual. Such would be a true sign of her resilience. It was understandable if after a traumatic event, she needed time and help to develop those skills.

"I laid in bed for a few hours, then got up and cleaned up a bit before my shift started. It wasn't so bad. I find keeping busy helps," Joey replied. She didn't really want to talk anymore, but had a feeling that Avery was going to continue pressing until she had some sort of breakthrough. "Let me ask you a question now. What exactly do you want to know? Is there a specific question you're looking to ask?"

The question confused Avery. "I believe my questions have been fairly specific. As I said, I wanted to come by and see how you were doing after all you've been through and let you know I was available to talk to if any troubles persisted. Everything you mentioned so far is perfectly normal given what you've been through, and ideally, will pass without further intervention. Is there something about my concern that troubles you?" Stuart asked.

"No," Joey answered wit the shake of her head. "If you weren't concerned, you wouldn't be doing your job. This isn't the first time I've had something horrible happen to me, and I doubt it will be the last. The first couple of days are always rough, but then I'm able to move on from it. It helps knowing I have people I can talk to if I need to, you included, and I appreciate that."

"I know you're a survivor," Avery remarked, "and I know it can be difficult to reach out for help when you're used to being so self-reliant or even just used to relying on one or two people. I'm just glad to know you realize you're not alone. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried sometimes that people will let the stigma of reaching out for counseling prevent them from doing so, but I am gratified you view me as a resource you can call upon if you need it. Ultimately, that's all I can ask," she added with a smile.

"I do know that you're here for me and the crew if we need it, and we're grateful for that. Should I need to talk about anything, I can assure you you will be one of the first people I talk to if i need it," the brunette woman said, offering Avery a smile of her own. "If you'd like, we can meet up with one another once a month or so just to touch base."

Avery smiled. "I would really like that. Even if we talk nothing about anyone's mental health, I would appreciate just sharing a drink and chat."

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