Apologies

Posted on 02 Apr 2017 @ 2:28am by Lieutenant Commander Joey Geisler & Captain Harvey Geisler & Commander Jayla Kij

2,331 words; about a 12 minute read

Mission: Shore Leave
Location: DS11 Sick Bay
Timeline: MD18ish

It hadn't taken Jayla long to find the location of Lieutenant Corwin. Surprisingly, it hadn't taken the various hospitals and Sick Bays long to register all their patients and a quick inquiry from the hospital on New Bajor showed that she could find Corwin on DS11, in Sick Bay.

So, that's where she went. It took a few minutes to find the actual bed where Corwin rested, but it wasn't difficult; DS11's sick bay was on top of their patients. Jayla was impressed.

She approached Corwin's bed cautiously. She didn't know if the other woman was still upset about that argument or not, so she felt that caution was best for now. "Lieutenant Corwin?" she said as she approached. "Do- do you have a moment? I mean, will you talk to me?"

Joey was sitting on the edge of her bed with her right arm still in a sling. Rico and Pequeno were still curled up near her. It was like she predicted... the two canines showed no signs of wanting to leave her after they'd been reunited, and thanks to the amazing sickbay staff, they were happy to oblige since they were all displaced for the moment. She was close to being released, and couldn't wait. Still, there was an air of uncertainty about where she would be going once she did finally leave.

A voice next to her snapped her out of her musings, and she looked toward the voice, unable to hide her surprise when she saw who it was. "Sure. I have a little bit before they release me. What can I do for you?"

Jayla took a deep breath and let it out. "I wanted to apologize," she explained. "For what I said after that whole mess with Nurse Blake. I was... well, going through some personal stuff and I took it out on you and it was inexcusable." She blinked as tears threatened to spring to her eyes. "Anyway, I'm so sorry. I said some really terrible things and I feel awful about them."

Joey blinked again. "Jayla... I've heard some pretty awful things in my life... especially about my bra size... but if you're looking for forgiveness, then you have it. We've all been through hell and back lately, but we can't let it get the best of us," she stated. "You have to remember that."

And then the tears really did fill her eyes. Before she could stop herself, she had thrown her arms around Joey and was hugging her. "Thank you!" she sobbed. "It's just been... well, I'm sure it has for you, too. Oh, I'm sorry!" she said, immediately pulling away. "You don't need someone squishing you while you're healing."

To say she was taken aback by Jayla's actions was an understatement. If Joey was completely honest, which she was, it was downright shocking. "Jayla, it's okay, really," she said, patting her back. Her shoulder throbbed from the sudden movement, but she tried not to let it show. Nothing was going to slow down her release. "Thank you."

"Sorry," Jayla sniffed, dashing at the tears with the back of one hand. "It's just so unlike me to say something like that and I'm so upset with myself for it. And everything that's happened the past several weeks definitely hasn't helped. But, I mean, you probably have your own problems, so..." She shrugged and offered a shaky smile.

"Jayla... please... you don't need to apologize to me anymore. It's all okay," the taller brunette said as she reached out with her free hand to give her arm a reassuring pat. "Yes... I do have my own problems, but that doesn't mean they're any more important than anyone else's. Yours included. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, it's okay," replied Jayla. "I've got the biggest one sorted, so that's good. See," she said, pulling a nearby stool to the bedside and perching on it. "I thought one of Kij's previous hosts was taking over sometimes. Which is extremely bad. But, it turns out my brain just doesn't like me acting like him. And then I had to make the call to not work on someone who was too badly injured- that wasn't easy. And an old friend just-" she stopped to swallow the lump in her throat as she remembered watching Silak die. "He was in the capital and... he didn't make it. I... I watched him die," she finished, tears filling her eyes again. "But that was after," she finished, blinking the tears away. "Anyway... I'll be all right."

Joey thought back to her own encounter with death and visibly swallowed a lump in her throat. Not everyone was as lucky as she was, and that was exactly what she was... lucky... with two guardian angels that were able to act quick. "I'm very sorry to hear that," she said softly. "I don't know if this will offer any kind of comfort, but your friend... he isn't feeling pain any longer." She spoke from personal experience. There was no pain... there was nothing. Nothing but the voices of those she was close to. Thinking back on it brought a tear to her eye.

A single tear ran down Jayla's cheek and she quickly wiped it away. "That... that's true," she replied. "And the state he was in, if we'd tried to save him, he'd have suffered. For a long time. And he probably still would have died. It's just so hard," she finished, voice cracking. And she didn't have enough hands to get rid of the tears now.

"Jayla," she said softly, wishing there was some kind of magical phrase she could use that would make it all go away... to make it all easier. Sadly, there wasn't, but that didn't mean she wouldn't try to comfort her in some way. "In life, we're always going to suffer loss. Yes, it hurts more than any of us could ever put to words, but what we always need to remember is that they'll live forever through us. The memories we share... it immortalizes them in a way. Your friend... he'll be with you always."

As cheesy as it sounded, it still made Jayla feel better. "I know," she sniffed. "It's just... I looked forward to his letters. And now... I won't get any more." Tears welled in her eyes again. "I keep hoping this is just a bad dream and I'll wake up any minute."

"I know exactly how you feel," Joey whispered, looking at her arm in the sling. "Cherish the ones you do have, and when you find yourself missing him, read one. It will help."

Jayla nodded. She took a moment to compose herself. Her heart ached and she didn't know when it was going to stop. Perhaps it never would. "Goodness," she said finally. "Here I am spilling about my problems and you're stuck in Sick Bay and probably have a dozen problems of your own." She gave Joey a weak grin. "Anything you need to talk about?" she asked, thinking that she could at least return the favor and listen to the other woman's issues if she wanted to talk about them.

Joey gave a sigh and ran her free hand through her hair. The truth was... she had a lot rolling through her mind presently, bit she didn't know where to start. "I... well... I'm sure you know the role Security was playing in all of this. My team... we didn't make it. Hell... we didn't even come close to achieving our goal, and that was my fault," she said softly, wishing she could go back and do it all over again. "We'd just lost a member of our team, and I was angry... distracted. I got shot here." She gestured to her upper chest/shoulder reason. "The pain only registered for a few seconds as I fell to the floor... I had just enough left in me to order my group to get to the core before... before..." Now it was her turn to start tearing up. "My heart stopped for over a minute."

Jayla gasped. "Oh, my goodness!" she breathed. "Are you okay? I mean, of course you're okay, but I mean, there's no lasting damage?"

"Physically... I'll make a complete recovery. Mentally... maybe a bit," Joey replied softly. "It's making me rethink my entire career path. I love being in Security, but when do the risks really stop?"

"Never," answered Jayla. "Even Medical suffered losses. Goodness, just look at the capital! Mostly civilians and very few of them made it out alive! You're never going to get rid of risks, no matter what line of work you're in. The important thing is, are you happy?"

"I am. I've always been happy with the path I've chosen for myself, but what if I don't come back from it next time?" she asked softly. "There's too much I'd be leaving behind, and I don't even want to imagine what that would be like. I'm at the point now where I need to do some serious soul searching and figure things out."

Jayla nodded. "I understand what you mean," she said. "Just... make sure you're happy, okay? Don't worry about everyone else. Because, the people who care about you will just end up miserable if you are."

"I will," Joey assured the Doctor. "I'm going to take my time and think it over. With everything up in the air right now, I don't want to make any hasty decisions."

"Good call," replied Jayla. "Well, anyway, I should probably let you rest." She stood and hugged Joey- gently this time, being careful of the arm in a sling. "Take care of yourself, okay?" she added.

Joey returned the hug with her good arm and nodded. "I plan to do just that, and you do the same. And remember what I said, too. They're never truly gone."

Harvey entered the sickbay, the cover still on his head, to find it a bit brighter than he'd left. He wasn't referring just to the increased illumination in the room, but everyone's spirits seemed to be brighter. Evidently, the Consortium left quite the cloud over Deep Space 11. It hadn't even been 24 hours since the enemy had been dethroned, but apparently that was all that was need--

The Captain froze, having just spotted Joey in her bed. She wasn't alone, and in fact, he hadn't ever expected to see what he was seeing. Though he didn't see the other woman's face, her backside was unmistakable. The last time Harvey had seen Jayla Kij was shortly before the Black Hawk entered her final battle. Their conversation had been less than pleasant, nor had Harvey tried to track her down since the crash. He knew she'd wound up with patients in a hospital, and from one doctor to another, the best thing to do was let the physician tend to the wounded.

As both women remained in their embrace, Harvey came to a stop at the foot of the bed, unsure if he should interrupt or just stand there. So, stand there he did.

Joey caught movement out the corner of her eye and looked in the direction of the foot of her bed to see Harvey standing there. She gave Jayla's back a reassuring pat and pulled back, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. This had some serious potential to be incredibly awkward. "How are things out there now?" She found herself asking to hide how uncomfortable she was at the moment.

"The, uh," Harvey said, his tone almost a bit startled. In all actually, he was hesitating for two reasons. One was because the sight before him had been unexpected, and the other was that he didn't know what to call the hulk that was once his home. "The crash site has been secured," Harvey told them. "Starfleet'll will let any of the crew check it out and try and recover any belongings."

Being Trill, though, Jayla was oblivious to any awkwardness. "Good," she said. "I've some pictures I'd like. I think they're backed up, though." She offered the Captain a weak smile. "Sorry about... well, our last conversation," she said. "I was... dealing with things. And taking them out on everyone around me. I'm okay now. Well, okay, I'm not okay," she admitted as tears sprang to her eyes again. "But, I will be," she promised.e

Joey rose to her feet and adjusted her sling a bit so the padding rested against her left shoulder. She looked between the two of them, and saw the state Jayla was in. For a brief moment, the tears were gone and she'd honestly thought she had made some head way with the Doctor, but the Security officer was mistaken. "I'm... uh... going to go check on my discharge," she said, helping Pequeno off the bed and calling Rico down. "I'll be at the ship."

Harvey nodded, unable to help himself as he embraced Jayla. Regardless of how things ended between them, they were all in a state of uncertainty at this moment. He may no longer be her Captain, but he was still her friend. "We're all in the same boat," he told Jayla, releasing her from the embrace.

Jayla blinked, surprised. She didn't think her current state warranted a hug, but what did she know? Maybe she did need a hug. She returned it briefly until he pulled away. "Yeah," she said. If only he knew.

To Joey, Harvey warned her, "Be careful. She's not as sturdy as she might look." Were it not for orders to report to the newly arrived Admiral Archer, Harvey would have tried to accompany Joey.

Joey nodded her head and called for the boys to follow her. "I'll be careful. Don't worry about me," she said as the three of them walked out of the room to hunt down a doctor to see about her release.

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